Choosing assisted living or a nursing home for a parent?
Check it like an inspector would.
An illustrated guide for families in the U.S.: which level of care fits, how to read star ratings and inspection reports, what to check on the tour and in the contract, and how to plan the move. 200 pages. eBook or printed book.
The book for the tours, the PDF for the sibling who lives far away · $79.99
Not a brochure. A checklist for every step.
Every page works the same way, so the whole family can read it in the parking lot before a tour, or at the kitchen table before signing.
This is what the pages look like.
For the adult children who end up organizing the move.
Which level, and where
How to tell independent living, assisted living, memory care and a nursing home apart, and how to check a place before the first visit.
Before signing anything
The tour checklist, the questions for staff, and the contract lines to find: guarantees, arbitration, fees, discharge.
The move and the first month
What to bring and how to label it, the care-plan deadlines, and who to call if something goes wrong.
What's worth knowing before the first tour.
These rules are written down. The book explains each one with an example, the rule and the source.
Stars compare within a state
Medicare's inspection stars rank nursing homes against others in the same state. A home cited for abuse can't get more than 4 stars overall. And Medicare itself says stars are no substitute for a visit.
Arbitration is optional
A nursing home in Medicare or Medicaid can't make binding arbitration a condition of admission, and a signed agreement can be cancelled within 30 calendar days.
30 days' notice, and an appeal
A nursing home may discharge a resident only for six reasons, usually with written notice 30 days ahead and a copy to the ombudsman. While an appeal is pending, the resident generally stays.
Count the help, not the stars.
Four levels of care side by side, and three questions that narrow the choice before the first tour.
- Independent living, assisted living, memory care, nursing home: what each one is
- Who inspects each one: the state, or the state under federal rules
- Only 20.3% of assisted living communities have a dementia unit or specialize
- What happens when needs grow: stay or move?
What the stars can, and can't, tell you.
How Medicare builds the rating, how to read an inspection report in 10 minutes, and how to find assisted-living records in your state.
- Inspections, staffing and quality: the three steps to the overall rating
- The letters A to L: which citations mean someone was harmed
- The abuse icon, the yellow warning sign and the new trophy
- State records for assisted living, with California, Florida and Texas as examples
Walk the floor with a plan.
Six stops on every tour, the warning signs Medicare lists, and the questions for the director, the nurse, the aides and other families.
- Staff slow to respond, strong odors, residents calling out, safety risks
- Staffing day, night and weekend: the questions to ask
- Care Compare medians: 3.71 nurse staff hours per resident per day
- A score sheet to compare three places at the kitchen table
Six lines to find before anyone signs.
A sample admission agreement, annotated: guarantees, arbitration, lost belongings, fees and discharge, and what federal rules say.
- "Responsible party," "personally guarantee," "joint and several"
- Arbitration: optional, with 30 calendar days to cancel
- Written notice 60 days before changes to charges for other services
- Assisted living contracts follow state law: what changes
Know the rules before the call comes.
Residents' rights in plain words, and the discharge rules step by step: the six reasons, the notice, the appeal, the bed-hold.
- Visitors, own belongings, own doctor, privacy, mail and phone
- Written notice at least 30 days ahead, with a copy to the ombudsman
- Staying while an appeal is pending
- What to do the day a notice arrives
From packing day to the first care-plan meeting.
Downsizing, what to bring, how to label it, and a week-by-week plan for the first month.
- Four boxes to pack, and what to leave at home
- Label it, list it, photograph it
- Care-plan deadlines: 48 hours, 14 days, 7 more days
- Red flags, and the ladder for complaints
Everyone in the family looks at the same checklist.
Siblings, spouses and the parent can tour with the same questions and compare places with the same score sheet. Decisions feel calmer when everyone has the facts.
- Built on federal rules, state licensing pages and Medicare's own booklets
- Reviewed every year: ratings methods and numbers change
- We don't rank or recommend facilities, and we receive no referral fees
From the first search to the first month, in one guide.
Full table of contents
On screen, on paper, or both.
Color PDF, right after payment
Open it on a phone during a tour, share it with the family, and print the checklists as many times as you need.
200 color pages, spiral-bound
Lies flat on a clipboard or a car seat. Free shipping to US addresses, about 5–8 business days. Want both? Printed + eBook for $79.99.
The checklists and the directory.
Print a fresh copy for every place you visit, and keep the numbers that matter in one place, from the long-term care ombudsman to the Eldercare Locator.
- Tour checklist, questions for staff and a score sheet for three places
- Contract check, packing list and first-30-days plan
- With the eBook: print them again whenever you need
See 10 real pages, free.
The four levels of care, how the stars are built, reading an inspection report, assisted-living state records, the tour, questions for staff, the admission contract, the discharge rules, what to bring, and the first 30 days. Read them and decide with the pages in front of you.
See the 10 pages ↓
How is it different?
| What it has | This guide | Official websites | Books on Amazon | Placement services |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Levels of care, ratings, tour, contract, rights and the move in one place | ✓ | Spread across many sites | Varies | Varies |
| Annotated examples: inspection report, contract, floor plan | ✓ | — | Varies | — |
| Federal rules with the source on each page | ✓ | ✓ | Varies | — |
| Printable checklists | ✓ (12) | Some | Varies | — |
| Independent of the facilities | ✓ No referral fees | ✓ | ✓ | Ask how they are paid |
| Price | From $39.99 | Free | About $10 to $30 | Varies |
You can start reading tonight.
You pay
Secure checkout, no account, no subscription. One payment.
You open the eBook
If you chose the eBook, the download link arrives by email. Open it on a phone, tablet or computer.
The book arrives
If you chose the printed book, it ships free to your US address.
Choosing a place and making the move, explained for the whole family.
- 200 illustrated color pages, 11 chapters
- Levels of care, star ratings, inspection reports, state records
- The tour checklist and the questions for staff
- The admission contract and the discharge rules, explained with examples
- The move, the first 30 days, red flags and how to complain
- 12 printable checklists and a directory of official contacts
- Printed book: spiral-bound, lies flat
What families ask before buying
Is this legal advice?
No. This guide provides general information, not legal or financial advice, and it is not a substitute for an attorney. Rules change and vary by state. For a contract or a discharge dispute, talk to the long-term care ombudsman or a licensed elder-law attorney in your state.
Do you recommend specific facilities?
No. We don't rank, rate or recommend any facility, and we receive no referral fees. The guide shows you how to check any place yourself, with Medicare's Care Compare, state inspection records and the tour.
Does it cover assisted living, or only nursing homes?
Both, plus independent living and memory care. Nursing homes in Medicare or Medicaid follow federal rules; assisted living is licensed by each state. The guide shows where the rules differ, with California, Florida and Texas as examples, and how to find the records in your own state.
Which states does it cover?
All of them for the federal nursing-home rules and Medicare's star ratings, which apply everywhere. For assisted living it explains how state licensing works and what to ask your state's agency or ombudsman.
Does it explain how to pay for care?
In short: one chapter summarizes costs and who pays, with the official pages to check. Paying for care in depth (Medicare, Medicaid, the VA, taxes) is the topic of our separate guide, How to Pay for a Parent's Care.
Are you affiliated with Medicare, CMS or any facility?
No. We are not affiliated with or endorsed by Medicare, CMS, any state agency, the ombudsman program or any care facility. Care Compare and the ombudsman program are free to use.
Are the rules up to date?
The rules and numbers were checked on November 6, 2026 against official sources such as ecfr.gov, cms.gov, medicare.gov, acl.gov and state licensing agencies. Each page shows its source. We review the guide every year.
Can I read it on my phone during a tour?
Yes. The eBook is a color PDF that opens on a phone, tablet or computer. You can print the checklists and any page you want.
When does the printed book arrive?
Shipping is free to US addresses and takes about 5–8 business days. The eBook arrives by email right after payment.
What if it's not right for us?
You have a 30-day guarantee. Write to us within 30 days and we'll refund you. No questions, no forms.
Ready to choose a place with the facts in hand?
200 illustrated pages, 12 printable checklists, official sources on every page. 30-day guarantee.
From $39.99 · eBook or printed